


Elephant Jokes (the only slightly evil remix)

by sixbeforelunch



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Cultural Differences, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-01
Updated: 2007-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-23 23:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixbeforelunch/pseuds/sixbeforelunch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Cassie and Teal'c are having acculturation difficulties, but it's mostly okay in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elephant Jokes (the only slightly evil remix)

Cassie was getting used to Earth. She knew what music to listen to (Britney Spears and N*SYNC), what clothes to ask her mom to buy for her (although her mom refused to buy her the really short skirt that Jen said she was supposed to be wearing, but Cassie was secretly happy about that--she thought it looked ugly anyway), and what kind of lip gloss to put on in the morning (strawberry-kiwi). Earth actually wasn't that hard once you got used to it.

Sitting in Jack's back yard, with birds chirping and little yellow flowers creeping along the ground, Earth almost felt like home.

Sometimes she missed her planet and her mom (her real mom) and her bedroom at home, with the painting her father made for her on the walls instead of Justin Timberlake. And sometimes Earth was really confusing and everything felt wrong, but lately it felt right more than it felt wrong, so mostly, it was okay.

One thing Cassie really hated about Earth, though, was decimals. Decimals were really evil and stupid, she'd decided. Not _evil_ evil, like the Goa'uld, but mildly evil. Evil like lima beans or going to the dentist.

Okay slightly more evil than lima beans. And slightly less evil than going to the dentist. But they were still on the evil scale.

Cassie glared at her homework. "Evil," she muttered.

"Do you require assistance, Cassandra?"

Cassie looked up. And up. And up. Teal'c was really big.

She considered telling Teal'c about decimals and lima beans and the evil scale, but Teal'c had seen things that were really, really evil and she didn't know if he would agree with her that dentists really counted, so she decided not to.

"No, I'm okay," Cassie said, catching a workbook sheet that threatened to fly away in the wind. Jack was technically babysitting her today. Babysitting was a stupid word, Cassie thought, since she wasn't a baby and no one was sitting on her. At least Jack knew she wasn't a baby and mostly left her alone unless she didn't want to be left alone and then they played games. When Daniel babysat, he hovered and asked her if she needed anything, like, every five minutes and tried to help her with her homework and ended up making her really confused. She didn't think he had much experience with kids, though, so she forgave him.

So Jack was babysitting--Cassie decided that the word babysitting came between lima beans and decimals on the evil scale--and Cassie was sitting under the big tree in his backyard trying to multiply decimals.

"What are you doing here?" Cassie asked and then bit her lip because she thought the question might be kind of rude. Her mom was trying to teach her etiquette and always telling her not to be rude. But...Jack was babysitting and Teal'c didn't usually come over when Jack was babysitting so it was a perfectly reasonable question. So it couldn't be rude, right?

"Daniel Jackson and Captain Carter are taking me to a movie," Teal'c said. "Captain Carter is returning Colonel O'Neill's telescope."

"She borrowed it?" That didn't sound right. Sam had access to a really big telescope at the University of Colorado any time she wanted.

"She fixed it."

Cassie nodded. That sounded right.

"What movie?"

" _Analyze This_."

"Oh."

"They are trying to better acquaint me with Tau'ri humor." Teal'c sat down on the ground next to her. "Jaffa humor is not like Tau'ri humor."

She thought he sounded kind of sad when he said it. Cassie felt sorry for Teal'c sometimes. He'd been on Earth for longer than she had, but he'd had this whole other life for, like, a hundred years and now he was on Earth and no one got him at all. Okay, they got him sometimes, but not always. He wasn't even really the same species as his friends. At least Cassie's new mom was the same species as her old mom.

"Maybe you could tell them a joke?" Cassie closed up her workbook and put it away. Jaffa jokes had to be better than decimals.

"I endeavored to do so. Now I am being made to go to the movies."

He made it sound like a punishment. Cassie would have liked to see _Analyze This_ but her mom said it was a grown up movie. Earth was weird that way; there were grown up things and kid things. Everyone did the same stuff back home.

"Tell me a joke," Cassie said. "I won't laugh. I mean, I will laugh, if it's funny. But I won't laugh at you, you know?"

Teal'c nodded slowly. "Very well. A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's...nose drips."

Cassie giggled. "I like it!"

Teal'c said nothing, but he sat up a little taller.

"Do you understand Tau'ri humor, Cassandra?"

Cassie shrugged and leaned against Teal'c. She liked leaning against Teal'c. He was big and strong and it felt like nothing could move him unless he wanted to move. "Sometimes. Sometimes I don't. Earth is...you know."

"Indeed."

Sometimes Earth was confusing and everything felt wrong and maybe everything still felt wrong more than Cassie liked to admit.

"It's like an elephant joke," Cassie said, sitting up.

Teal'c frowned at her, not an angry frown, a confused frown.

"Like Jack tells. Why are elephants gray?"

"Likely because gray skin is beneficial for their survival."

Cassie shook her head. "No. I say 'Why are elephants gray?' and you say 'I don't know, why are elephants gray?' Why are elephants gray?"

"I don't know, why are elephants gray?"

"So you don't get them confused with blueberries," Cassie said.

Teal'c frowned. "I see."

"No you don't," Cassie said.

"No, I do not," Teal'c agreed.

"It doesn't make any sense, that's why it's funny."

Teal'c tiled his head, looking really serious, like Sam did sometimes when she was trying to figure out something complicated. Cassie giggled and to her surprise Teal'c smiled. Like a huge smile. Well, a huge smile for Teal'c, anyway.

"Tell me more of these elephant jokes."

Cassie grinned. Earth was weird and sometimes it felt really wrong. But she had people she could tell elephant jokes to, so it was mostly okay.

end


End file.
